Thoughts and rants (?)
Friday, November 20, 2015 | 0 comments

Assalamualaikum
Hello peeps
안녕하세요

Hi again for a long long long time. Hihihi. Ijah dah semakin malas update entry kat blog nie. 'Kemalasan' itu telah bertimbun dan membentuk gunung-ganang dalam diri Ijah. Hahaha

Entry kali nie like always Ijah 'rojak'kan. Meaning that akan bercampur2 laa isi kandungannya. 

First, Ijah now on sem break BUT tinggal seminggu je lagi. Tak sedar cuti dah nak habis and kalau boleh tak nak habis. Kalau cuti lama lagi pun Ijah tak buad apa2 pun kat rumah. Mereput + membina kemalasan dalam diri. Which is not good. Hahaha. So yeah, 5 weeks of sem break going to end soon. Marilah kita berhuhuhu beramai-ramai.

Second, result exam dah keluar and Alhamdulillah. Emel msuk pkul 12 AM. Ijah buka. Slow2 scroll
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Dan malam itu pun Ijah tidur dgn tenang. heeee

Third, Idk if I should type abt this tetapi hati ini tidak mampu utk menampung rasa ini. Cewah ayat. I think, Ijah rasa kan, Ijah nie dh hampir2 tahap gila. Idk. Hahaha. I tend to overthink. MUCH. I get so sensitive semenjak dua menjak nie. And somehow my mood can change like for a split second drastically. And paling scary, Ijah rasa dlm diri nie ada dua org kecil yg berbalah. One side is negative and one side is positive. Ijah ada gak tell my friend abt this. And she said the positive side is just my side yg pujuk diri sendiri. Is it? And lately, I tend to talk to myself. And at night I selalu sangat nangis before sleep. Things get mixed up then bnda tu jdi pnyebab of my tears rolling. /sigh/ what should I do? 

Fourth, this idk how to tell cause its like my privacy(?) idk nak cerita kt siapa. Nak cerita kt kwn2 I'm afraid they'll get tired of me. And paling2 pun yg dorg akn cakap "I feel sorry for you. Idk how to help you cause there's no way to help." Tak pun "dari diri kau sejja tu" so I keep it myself. Which I always talk to myself. Having conversation with myself. Lol. I just.. To be ver honest, aq x respect kau sudah. Kesian memang kesian tapi siapa suruh kau buad hal. Pandai2 laa tanggung. Kau pun teda interest with us kn? /sigh/

Fifth, Ijah ada kemusykilan di sini. What do you think of men and women become best friend? Well, Ijah ada jak kawan lelaki tapi in terms of best friend.... ada kot.. tapi now less contact cause he's busy with degree thingy. Hahaha. So berbalik kepada persoalan di atas, what do you think? In my opinion mmg x salah. Tapi what if the guy ada gf or the girl ada bf. Cmne tu? I tried to be rasional and positively thinking and in the end the result will be in my 'thirdly' paragraph. Am I overreacting? Am I over protective? Am I over thinking? My positive side said yes for the 'over-' thingy. But really Am I? My GIRL friend said to me, "Xyh la pkir psal tu ja. Fokus study" Masalahnya sekarang nie mcm mana aq mw fokus bila benda tu keep distracting me. Sorry memang bgini laa myself. Tambah2 lgi dgn hal sndiri. /sigh/ I don't know for how long my heart can contain this.

So setelah lima2 isi Ijah mengeluh 3 kali. Ijah ada baca somewhere yg if nk khwin jgn khwin ngan prempuan yg bnyk mgeluh, bnyk ckp, etc (tu je yg Ijah ingat). Well both of the stuff yg Ijah mention ada dalam diri Ijah so jgn khwin ngan Ijah. Hahaha. Plus, I don't even have the thought of getting married. Lets be Andartu?Hahaha

P/s: sorry for typo. I updated thru phone. And also sorry for this negatively vibe entry. I look pitiful aight? I am pitiful. Don't you think?

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